Monday, January 30, 2012

A Dreamer's Journey to be More Present

A few weeks ago I closed down my Facebook account. Some were irked by it. Only one was emphatically supportive. Many asked why.
My reasons were many, but perhaps on the top of my list was that constant longing to make life more simple so I can more fully enjoy what is true and present and most worthy of my thoughts, emotions, energy.
I'm a Dreamer. I love being a Dreamer, but it also means I struggle to be here. I'm usually a day beyond, if not a year beyond, the today that I should be living. I'm an Intuitive, which means I typically live in another world entirely. A world made solely of ideas and moods and abstracts. I love that world. It's very much home to me.
Yet I have experienced entire days and even weeks slip by without my full and honest presence. I don't need to tell you that children need your true presence, not only your physical presence. And husbands need it too (though they tend to be more understanding and gracious when they too are dreaming intuitives! :)).
As I pondered this (in my home-world of ideas, of course), I became increasingly convicted that the pseudo world of Facebook must come to an end for me. I am not anti-Facebook. But personally, Facebook lured me away from my life and sucked me into edited versions of others' lives. I succumb so easily. And so with very little sadness, I said good-bye.

Just two weeks later, I read this article. "The Joy of Quiet."
Apparently I'm not the only one craving to be more disconnected so that I can more fully connect! I'm not ending this blog, I couldn't survive without a cell phone, I will always have email (because we live thousands of miles away from family and the friends who will always be friends...with our without Facebook), but it's just too easy to escape from the here, the now, the important. Even in the bush of Africa.
Canceling Facebook was a big step. It was the first step. Now I must step again, re-train myself to notice and embrace the gifts before me. To feel, see, taste, hear, smell, be.
And, of course, give thanks. Being present can only be valuable when it leads us to praise the Giver of this moment, of this life. It makes us aware of the holiness of it all, from the undulating patterns of the thatched roof to the teeny curls of little eyelashes to the silence that makes space for the soul to listen to its Maker.

I am on a journey, and this is my challenge to myself.


//nancy said...

to comment on this:

i've too had the longing to make life more simple. but the one thing i can't deny about facebook- it's easier to connect, to share information and photos with dear friends and family members that are far away ALL at once without accidentally leaving someone out. i had the business mixed in with the personal for so long that at one time i had 1000 "friends" and it became a version of harmless stalking that made me pretty uncomfortable. now, looking to be more intentional, i still have to maintain an online presence for my job BUT i want to keep facebook for a small group of close family and friends to maintain connection with that core group. so that's what i'm doing. :)

i've come to the conclusion for myself that fb (or anything internet-based) shouldn't be the BASIS for a relationship, it should be a supplement. :) totally respect your reasons for wanting to step away but if it becomes too challenging amidst the busy world of parenting, africa-ing, etc. know that a facebook with thirty to fifty "friends" isn't such a bad option, either! ;) love you, love connecting with you, courtage.

Crysti & Jerome said...

You inspired me. I'm now solely on blogger for my internet friends. Though I miss the snippets of updates from my friends that facebook provided, those are the friends that I talk to on a regular basis anyway so chances are I'll still get the anecdotes.

I'm glad you kept your blog. I love seeing pictures of your life in Africa. We miss you guys but it's great to see you happy :)

a soulful life said...

You have written, so eloquently, my own feelings about the online world:) I find that writing my blog and reading a small circle of blogs that really refresh me is healthly but once I step into the world of facebook and twitter it just feels like an avalanche of words and information. It is hard for me to process it all and connect with it all honestly and with complete presence, which is how I like to connect being an intuitive as well :)
It can be so distracting. I sometimes wonder if it somehow detracts from people forming real life communities too. I know that there are lots of benefits to FB, such as being able to connect with friends and family abroad, but the rest can be too much! I think it is wonderful that you followed, and trusted your intuition!
Thank you for your encouragment over at my blog by the way :)

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