Today God painted my heart in the sky.

Today God painted my heart in the sky. Wisps of dark clouds danced with the dawn, somber gray swirling with sun-fire orange. I walked toward it as I wound through young cassava and old maize and wondered if His painting reflected my emotions or what He was doing within me. I’m not sure. But I know that was my heart in the sky. That was my heart draped above the land I had loved for years. And as I pressed hand into soil to bless it, I knew my blessing was received, my parting gift accepted. I gently dusted off the hand and heard a whisper, “It is finished.” Not His work, of course, but mine. Countless times had I walked between rows of maize young and green, whispering prayers for health and bounty. Countless times had I walked along fields freshly harvested, whispering prayers of thanks. And now it was finished. As I brushed hand over grasses bowed heavy with dew, I whispered my farewell. We have been friends, this land and I. I am thankful for every magical morning we spent welcoming the sun together, listening to the praises of the birds. And we joined in, the land and I, for our Creator is good. He is so good, and He does not leave this place. 

But I do. And I weep. Tears fall on soil soft for the goodbyes I say today: to land and children and friends. I wonder if hearts re-grow like livers can, because I leave so much of mine here. Today words stumble pitifully off my lips and I hope that chunk of heart I’m leaving is heard instead. It says what my words today cannot. I hope the land and son and friends saw my heart painted in the sky. I think God painted it there to speak on my behalf and to let me know He understands and that I must trust He’ll do the rest. I leave but He does not. He will keep the land and children and friends and chunk of heart. 

Today God painted my heart in the sky and carried me through a farewell and assured me He is good. His goodness is big enough to spread over land, sons, daughters, friends, heart, and even me as I leave...and to where I go. His goodness is big enough to cover it all. God painted my heart in the sky, but it was His heart that carried me through this day and made me believe it will be okay. 

It will be okay.